Are We There Yet?

(How many titans can slam-dance on the head of chagrin?)

Breathe. This is the easy part. You have totally got this.
Between sitting here, disassociatingdrifting in and out of panicked consciousness. And I can barely take it. 
I had to put a more tender me into a closet, but he always seems to find his way out.

Bracing. Heart racing. Memory tracing 
Forever facing leaning 
In every direction at once
Quantum, I laugh at you quantum 
To you it's all quanta, 
But if you wanna
Know my strong opinion your hedging when you're keening 
Fear careening courseward leaning forward 
And I haven't even left my chair.


I exist in the prelinguistic state.
How me of me... awakening to birdsong. Find meaning 
I think I heard the chick-a-dee a'tweening 
Will they sing for me 
King of wreaking 
Gentle havoc on my soul 
Sounds so low
Prelinguistic to know how 
Sadistic it is 
To persist in accepting 
Refusal correcting 
What's right, left, or wrong 
North or South Here Gone 
Then when from my chest tightens
Titans on my chest 
Opening my rib cage (of course) 
My heart to burst (of course)
My HEART my captain o captain contraption
Follow your own road 
The wanderer the drifter 
To lead to be followed 
By only worthy ones 
I'd surely want 
To go with trust to find my way 
Take these keys. Get lost. Find.

04/20/26
0613 — I'm in this seat. I can't move. 
But I will. At some point 
I will stop thinking about it. 
At some point I will stop measuring the steps between here and there. 
At some point I will have ye know that Zeno's a pair of decks away from a card 
At some point...