Tag: AuDHD
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A Maze Meant More Than I Knew
My letters form in shadow but will soon see light as I fill the page. As I get out of their way.
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Synchronicity: Too Many Miles Away
She said it with admiration. She said, You are wise beyond your years. Mom validated that, even though this feeling in my chest could hurt sometimes, it was a strength to cherish. That validation would be the everlasting protective veneer on a psyche bombarded with labels like too sensitive, too intense, or even weak.
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A New Universe To Weave
0850 — at some point I stopped being purely me and became someone I thought more acceptable to society. I picked up an attitude here, an affect there, a shield, a weapon… a patchwork of energy fields obscuring, creating, destroying… The most “me” threaded within & without the whole fucking thing. My midlife trick is…
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The Medium Is The Message Of The Sunday Sabbath
A dirty little secret I’ve learned from that quiet voice behind the curtain in my mind is that I have no clue what I’m doing, and everything good I make is actually coming from a much deeper reserve. I’m just the figurehead.
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Exit
I’ve been a square egg on a brown knoll my whole life. I’ve never fit, and it’s never fit me. But oh, how I sanded edges here, sharpened curves there. Sawdust and metal shavings, blood and picked scabs, and a z-shaped scar…
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On Structured Fluidity and Off Ramps
With no structure I’m a boneless chicken, a gelatinous being, Speaker of the House. But with too much structure I’m Hannibal Lecter on a hand truck. I live in the gray area. That gray area can be the bane of my existence, but like most challenging fields, there’s treasure buried in the muck.
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Are We There Yet?
Bracing. Heart racing. Memory tracing Forever facing leaning In every direction at once Quantum, I laugh at you quantum To you it’s all quanta, But if you wanna Know my strong opinion your hedging when you’re keening Fear careening courseward leaning forward And I haven’t even left my chair.
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The Psychosomatic Pretzeline State Of Neurodivergence
The intricate relationship between autism and ADHD presents a unique neurodivergent experience termed AuDHD. This phenomenon reveals a struggle between the desire for structure and the need for novelty, leading to a “pretzeline state.” This state embodies the turmoil of psychosomatic distortions, yet within it lies the potential for creativity and growth, reflecting the complexity…
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The Beetle In My Box
Sometimes I feel more alone than alone. Because no matter who is around The beetle in the box is suffocating. So I open my head to let him breathe.
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Forging the Strohax
The alchemy of the linguistic stim. I once read a piece by Grant Morrison on Chaos Magick and creating a sigil. Morrison is a modern-day shaman, a psychonautic genius who channels profound truths into the two-dimensional universe of the graphic novel. I read his piece as part of a compendium by a group called Disinformation.…