It’s so easy to become cynical. Too easy.

Postmodernism has done a number on us. Many of us are quite aware that nothing we see has any meaning in and of itself. Meaning occurs at the interface of observer and observed.

But some of us are more susceptible to the uncertainty of post-modernity. I get lost in the particle/wave duality of life. I drown in the seductively stagnant waters that puddle in gray areas. I look for the particle in the wave of existence and realize in finding the pearl I’ve forgotten the oyster and I look to the vast shell and see it’s a part of a universal colossus inseparable from the quantum foam of existence.

At times I fear I’ve traded the comfort of binary certainty for the complicated uncertainty beyond duality. But reality is much more magical when I realize the very structure of my brain precludes me from certain truths. Paradox and uncertainty may be the closest glimpse I’ll get to God.

It is this acknowledgement of postmodern uncertainty that brings me to the subjective nature of “reality.” We see what we want to see. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change or something like that.

It is in full knowledge of this that I contextualize my reaction to Kamala Harris on SNL last night. With a background in Media Studies and a discerning eye, I know when I’m being propagandized. I know the pyscho-semiotic work that goes into presentation. I know that what we see in a public figure is the outcome of hours of research and focus-grouping. But I also know that if you look closely enough you can see the human behind the mask — the ghost in the machinations.

When Kamala Harris’s smiling face appeared on camera last night I saw a glimpse of something I haven’t seen in a leader for a long time. I saw a human smile… a true, unfakeable glimmer of joy. I know that’s what I was supposed to see. I don’t care. I’ll play along.

Because I am tired. I am psychically exhausted by the slog of MAGAngst. Like their dear-leader, the neo-Bund of the modern United States buries every glimmer of humanity under a scorched-earth landscape of rubble and grievance. It is an uber-patriarchal movement that views compassion as a weakness, vulnerability a liability. Good people (because aren’t we all, at some level, capable of good?) on board with the worst their shadow has to offer in the name of party platform ties and fear of the “other” with a little greed mixed in for good measure.

Just seeing a platform that entertains the notion of empathy, joy, and compassion, even contrived and semiotic, has the slaking effect of a bucket of ice water in the middle of a barren desert.

I bear no illusion that anyone in the running for POTUS got to that position by being a good and pure human being. I have a more-than-healthy skepticism towards anyone who wants any form of power over others. I am anti-establishment at heart. If Kamala Harris becomes POTUS I will see her the way I see any other public servant. She works for us and I will view her accordingly.

Maybe the overwhelming feeling I had was hope. In order to swing back from the precipice of fascism we have to get back to a baseline of normalcy. Normalcy in the United States is far from ideal… It’s hard to make anything great again that wasn’t ever truly great to begin with. But normalcy is better than MAGAism. And normalcy is a step towards something better.

For the first time in a long time I feel like I’m not just rooting against a candidate. I feel like I’m rooting for someone. I’m rooting for the idea of Kamala and the possibility of progress.